Mind the Boundaries
One of the least topics discussed about nowadays is the topic of personal space, and I don’t just mean the physical one, but also the emotional, social and, behavioral spaces, those spaces which are being invaded by the close and the far under many names, for love, friendship or, even for achieving a common goal or interest.
The human being is a really complex creature, people tend to think of a person as mind, body and, soul, and that you need to feed them in order for that person to survive, but as a social creature by nature, a human being can not survive alone, he has to live among others to thrive.
And as famously said “Necessity is the mother of all invention.”, the social zones have come to existence, but the modern life of — mostly fake — socialism done online has reduced those zones to the mere physical personal space in the eyes of many, in other words we’ve become the products for those who are in power to sell and buy.
Lately I’ve come across several difficult situations, that motivated me to write about minding those zones, your personal boundaries, that space that everyone has to respect when communicating and dealing with one another so, first and foremost you need to define them well and, then do not let anyone invade any of them — unnecessarily — unless you’re certain of whom you’re letting in.
And whenever you feel something’s off about someone don’t be ashamed to take care of yourself, by pushing back that individual from one nearby zone to a further one however, you have to be frank to yourself and to that individual about your decision and, never fail to be kind in that process — or in all your life in general.
So, it begins with the “You” zone, where you reflect on your life decisions, behaviors, and goals, it’s where you have to fight your demons, your fears, your worries and, most importantly your ego, it is the zone that must be private only to you, and no one else should look into nor alter.
One step further away you get into the “Loved Ones” zone, anyone who falls into this place is someone you genuinely love and, they aren’t necessarily family members nor someone who has blood ties with you, the people of this space will naturally have the highest influence on you and, with that kind of influence they’ll have the power to lead you to the tops or to the depths so, do be careful of who you choose to live in this zone.
Another step away and you’re in the “Close Friends” zone, individuals in this space mean much to you and, you have a great deal of love to them but, not as much as the ones in the inner space mentioned earlier, usually this zone is where trust and loyalty are built over time, and it also serves as the passage and the key to the “Loved Ones” zone so, you have to be prudent when you let people into this space, because there are a lot of malicious people out there, who are so good in taking advantage of those who can’t guard the personal boundaries we’re discussing so, this zone will usually be their entry point.
And finally the furthest zone is the “Acquaintance” space, where people have their first impression about one another and, get introduced to each other, you’ll pass by a lot of people in this zone, as life moves on people will come and go more frequently through this space, only the ones who have common interests or goals with you would stay and, it’s up to you to decide whether someone deserves to get into the deeper zones, stay still in this place or, leave them entirely behind in the “Strangers” land.
In each and every space mentioned you should be asking yourself “Am I doing right by the people who are in here?” and, “Am I doing right by myself in letting these people here?”, so that you are the one who’s in control of your life, because in the end the one who’s responsible for your life will always be you, and no one else.
In conclusion I’d like to end this writing by advising you not to let anyone influence your life for their benefit, unless there is an equal benefit that you’ll get in return, because life is not only take nor only give but, it’s a two way street of give and take and, many will always find an alibi so that they take more and give less.
Finally, by maintaining good will and, going by virtuous humane ethics, while safe guarding the boundaries we’ve discussed, navigating any life situation would be clearer and, better for you and the people you deal with in all trades of life, and I quote two valuable pieces of advice in this regard which are “The opposite of cowardice is not courage but recklessness and, the opposite of stinginess — or parsimony — is not generosity but profusion — or wastefulness — so, a virtue is a middle between two sins”.
And the second and final quoted piece of advice is “When our ambition is bounded it leads us to work joyfully, when our ambition is unbounded it leads us to lie, to cheat, to steal, to hurt others and, to sacrifice things of real value. When our fears are bounded we’re prudent, we’re cautious and, we’re thoughtful, when our fears are unbounded and overblown we’re reckless and, we’re cowardly.’, so pick a stance where you can be selfish without arrogance while at the same time you’re selfless without weakness — in one word “balanced”.